Is Your Child Sexting? What Parents Need to Know

by Rose Garrett

May 20, 2009

Parents may never have heard of it, but surveys show that 20 to 60 percent of teens are doing it: “sexting”. While this troubling trend continues full speed ahead, parents, teachers and lawmakers are struggling to react appropriately to the phenomenon that puts kids at risk for exploitation, harassment, and even felony charges.

What is sexting? A combination of the words “sex” and “text messaging,” “sexting” is the sending of sexually provocative messages or visual images to and from cell phones and computers. Kids as young as 9 years old may be doing in it, according to the research of Susan Lipkins, a psychologist specializing in bullying and hazing.

Some teens and young adults use sexting to flirt, others to have fun or be funny, and still others to gain recognition, improve their social status, or hurt or harass. “Sometimes it’s gossip, sometimes it’s a mating call, sometimes it’s sexual harassment,” says Lipkins, who urges a nuanced view of the phenomenon.

Emotional trauma is just one of the dangers associated with sexting behavior. Several teens across the country are now facing child pornography charges for sending or receiving sexually provocative images of themselves or peers. In Wyoming, three high school girls have been threatened with child pornography charges over digital photos in which they appear topless or in their underwear, and similar cases have appeared across the country, with charges ranging from misdemeanor to felony obscenity.

(For the full article click here)

Over the years, texting has become increasingly popular among teens. This form of depersonalized communication allows children and teens to text things they wouldn’t normally say in person. Technology has made it possible to disseminate information on-line about a person that can be humiliating and traumatizing.

Parents should talk to their children about texting and the consequences of sending inappropriate content. Children and teens often don’t know that anything posted or sent via text or email can be saved and distributed on-line.

Schooltipline makes it possible for children to report this type of sexual harassment. Children must feel safe knowing that unacceptable behavior, such as sexting, can be prevented and addressed promptly before it becomes a serious problem.

The Truth About Bullying pt. 2

A student documents a bully pushing a fellow student against a wall.

Oprah interviewed the parents of Ryan Halligan, a thirteen-year-old boy who committed suicide in 2003. His parents believe his death was a result of constant bullying.

The following is a continuation of the article found on Oprah’s Web site from May 6, 2009.

The bullying continued on and off until seventh grade. To his parents’ surprise, Ryan said he was becoming friends with one of his bullies, but things quickly took a bad turn. “He spread a rumor around the school and online that my son was gay,” John says. “It was like a feeding frenzy. All of a sudden, kids who normally didn’t bully Ryan got in on the so-called fun.”

Ryan started getting vulgar, homophobic e-mails but didn’t tell his parents. He also began long online chats with a girl he liked—which turned out to be a devastating setup. “In front of her friends, she told Ryan: “Look, you’re just a loser. I don’t want anything to do with you. I was just joking,’” says John, who says he learned about the incident later. “She and a friend started to laugh.”

A humiliated Ryan said girls like them made him want to kill himself. A month later, Ryan hanged himself in the bathroom of his home. “I remember screaming: ‘Why? Why?’” Kelly says. “I didn’t understand it. He just seemed so happy.”

Today, John shares Ryan’s story with students and teachers to bring awareness to the problem. “Cyberbullying is far more dangerous than what we had to deal with a generation ago,” he says. “The level of pain that can be brought about by this behavior is unbelievable.”

John says he had no idea his son was being harassed online until after his death, when he signed on to his son’s instant messaging account. It was there he says he learned of the taunts—and found evidence of his son’s deep depression. “It was very clear he had been contemplating and actually planning this final act,” he says.

At the time, John says he and his wife weren’t trained to see the signs of depression or suicide in their son. “That last summer he became very withdrawn,” he says. “I just thought he was becoming an older teenager who didn’t want to hang out with Dad anymore.”

Click here for the full article

When the school day ends  students go online to socialize with one another. Unfortunately for some students, bullying doesn’t end when the bell rings. Bullies have utilized this technology to continue tormenting their victims outside of class settings.

Cyberbullying may seem like fair game to these bullies because they are off school grounds. Victims may feel powerless because not only does cyberbullying take so many forms, but there is no one to help put an end to it. However, SchoolTipline positively uses technology to put an end to all forms of bullying.

Students can feel empowered knowing they have someone to talk to and that the problem can be resolved by an authority figure. When students take a stand against bullies, the bullies  will  realize that all forms of bullying are unacceptable.

How to Handle Bullies

OPRAH RADIO

In today’s world, bullying isn’t just about teasing or picking on peers at school, Rabbi Shmuley says. Bullying among children today can turn violent and even deadly. And, girls are just as likely as boys are to bully and be bullied, he says. So, what’s the cause for this mean-spirited behavior, and how can parents stop it? Rabbi Shmuley offers his insight and advice.

Why Children Bully Each Other:

• Children today are more aggressive. Rabbi Shmuley says children are emulating the violent video games, TV shows and movies they’re exposed to.
• Marriages today are weak. Many parents fight with each other, and Rabbi Shmuley says children absorb their aggression. “Here is the other thing—when you spend your time battling your spouse, you are going to have little energy left to discipline your kids, and he may become a bully,” he says.
• Children today are angry. “They rage against their parents’ neglect; thunder against their parents’ indifference,” he says. “As their parents ignore them more and more, they feel resentful, so they look for victims around them to take out their aggression.”
• Children today are being bullied by parents. “Parents themselves are overworked and tired,” Rabbi Shmuley says. “Rather than inspiring their kids with heart-to-heart conversations, they bark orders at them, find constant criticism and the child passes on the bullying.”

Solutions to Help Children Deal with Bullies:

• Never show fear before the bully. “Don’t respond to him, but don’t run from him,” Rabbi Shmuley says. “Just go about your normal business as if he or she is not there.”
• Make it clear to the bully that you will report her. “When the bully says, ‘You’re a crybaby and tattletale,’ be firm and say, ‘I told you I am going to report you [to a teacher]. I am not afraid of you, and I don’t care what you say,’” Rabbi Shmuley says.
• Report the bully. “Go straight to the teacher and, better, to the principal,” he says. “Also, go home and tell your parents.”
• Don’t bully back. “Your child does not have to demonstrate that he can be equally intimidating because, in the process, he will lose his innocence,” Rabbi Shmuley says. “Rather, teach your child to stand up to the bully [by reporting him or her to a teacher].”
• Parents need to follow-up. Call the school and make sure the teacher or principal knows you will not tolerate your child being bullied. “If you feel the teacher or principal is not taking you seriously, go to the school board,” Rabbi Shmuley says. “Do not put your kid in an environment where they are going to be harmed. You are the parent—you are the one who is ultimately responsible for [your child's] well-being.”

Today’s Shmuleyism
“There is absolutely no place for bullying in our schools. Children must be taught to report a bully immediately and never to fear retaliation. Parents must teach their children to stand up to a bully but never to become one—even to protect themselves. Principals and teachers who don’t take bullying seriously should be relieved of their duties.

Click here to listen to this and more episodes

These guidelines are useful for parents in order to teach their children not to tolerate any type of bullying. Every child must first trust his or her parents in order to come forward with a complaint about bullying that if not addressed promptly, can become a bigger problem.

The truth is children often don’t want to talk to parents or school officials. This leads to other types of bullying that can go undetected by parents and school officials as children join the spiral of silence and remain helpless.

One of SchoolTipline’s goals is to eliminate the “no snitch culture” in schools. Many students feel that reporting bullying and misbehavior  will only result in retaliation. If schools can help students overcome this fear by providing an anonymous way to report there will be an increase in students actively engaged in the school safety process.

The Truth About Bullying

On May 6th 2009, Oprah interviewed the two mothers of the boys who recently committed suicide as a  result of bullying.

The Truth About Bullying

University of Illinois professor Dr. Dorothy Espelage says there’s a term for what Carl and Jaheem experienced—sexual bullying. Dr. Espelage says half of all bullying in elementary and middle schools involves the use of gay slurs.

“Kids are introduced to sexual materials earlier in life, some of which they don’t understand—language they don’t understand,” she says. “Kids use these words really not knowing that there are serious short-term and long-term consequences.”

Sexual bullying is really a form of sexual harassment, Dr. Espelage says. “Sexual harassment is calling others these names of ‘gay’ and ‘fag,’ and when you do that, directed to boys, it’s the most hurtful thing you can do to attack their masculinity,” she says. “When you call a girl a ‘whore,’ a ‘lesbian,’ it serves the same purpose.”

Dr. Espelage says it’s important to realize that this bullying isn’t usually perpetrated by one bully. “It’s groups of kids that do it. Some kids that are popular, this is how they establish dominance; this is how they look cool,” she says. “Then you’ve got good kids around them … contributing to it, egging it on, not supporting the victim, and ultimately it becomes a climate problem. It’s the school’s problem.”

(Click here for the full article)

The story of 11-year-old Carl Walker-Hoover and 11-year-old Jaheem Herrera remind people of the serious effects of bullying.

Bullying is an issue every school must address. It is the responsibility of school administrators to guarantee a safe environment for learning and healthy development.

It is not acceptable to  tolerate any type of verbal abuse.

According to Dr. Espelage, attacking someone’s sexuality is one of the most hurtful things you can do.

Schooltipline’s unique two-way communication model provides children with the necessary tools to stop the abuse. Teens are often afraid to come forward with information and Schooltipline helps provide them  a way to report that is both anonymous and easy.

“No Snitch Culture”

“The father of a teenager who was fatally shot when he answered a friend’s door said Wednesday he is outraged that the “no snitch” culture might be preventing police from catching his son’s killer or killers.

Jason Trent III, a senior at McLain High School for Science and Technology, was killed in the shooting early Tuesday at 4118 N. Garrison Place, police said. A 9-month-old baby, Clinton Kellum, was wounded in the same attack and remains hospitalized.” (Click here for the rest of the article)

The “no snitch” culture is not only common to the Tulsa area. Communities across the nation are faced with the challenge of getting their youth to step forward with information when incidents occur. Many students fear peer retaliation and consequently refuse to report the things they know.

Schooltipline is breaking down the “no snitch” culture by providing students an effective, convenient and anonymous method for reporting crucial pieces of information. Schooltipline offers students the ability to report the things they know from their cell phone or via the Internet. These are the technologies students are most familiar with and as a result they feel more comfortable using them in situations like this.

Schooltipline conducted several years of research and found that only 3 out fo 10 students said they would report a dangerous situation using traditional reporting methods. However, once given the option for using cell phones and the Internet, the missing 7 out of 10 students said they would step up and report.

In order to effectively resolve dangerous situations and more importantly prevent them, the students need to be empowered and engaged in the safety process both in their school and community.

Schooltipline sends condolences to Jason Trent III for the loss of his son and pledges a continued effort to help break down the “no snitch” culture that plagues the nation.

Backlash: Women Bullying Women at Work

By MICKEY MEECE

Published: May 9, 2009

“YELLING, scheming and sabotaging: all are tell-tale signs that a bully is at work, laying traps for employees at every pass.

During this downturn, as stress levels rise, workplace researchers say, bullies are likely to sharpen their elbows and ratchet up their attacks.

It’s probably no surprise that most of these bullies are men, as a survey by the Workplace Bullying Institute, an advocacy group, makes clear. But a good 40 percent of bullies are women. And at least the male bullies take an egalitarian approach, mowing down men and women pretty much in equal measure. The women appear to prefer their own kind, choosing other women as targets more than 70 percent of the time.

In the name of Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem, what is going on here?

Just the mention of women treating other women badly on the job seemingly shakes the women’s movement to its core. It is what Peggy Klaus, an executive coach in Berkeley, Calif., has called “the pink elephant” in the room. How can women break through the glass ceiling if they are ducking verbal blows from other women in cubicles, hallways and conference rooms?

ONE reason women choose other women as targets “is probably some idea that they can find a less confrontative person or someone less likely to respond to aggression with aggression,” said Gary Namie, research director for the Workplace Bullying Institute, which ordered the study in 2007.” (Click here for full article)

Bullying is a problem that not only affects children and teenagers but can continue on after graduation. Bullying and verbal abuse is a problem that affects many in the workplace. In fact, 37 percent of workers have been bullied according to the Workplace Bullying Institute.

Bullying in the workplace has similar effects as bullying does in middle school and high school. Bullying affects productivity and increases the probability of a student skipping school or an adult quitting his or her job.

Students, as well as adults, should learn to properly confront these situations by reporting bullying behavior to either school officials or work management. Schooltipline provides students with the necessary tools to report abuse and stop it at a young age so it doesn’t become a problem in the future. Prevention and proper intervention are essential in providing a safe environment for learning and working.

Violence in schools down, but bullying and other incidents on the rise

“Even though spasms of intense violence erupt on campuses occasionally and linger in the social consciousness, violence at schools across the country has been decreasing for a number of years.

That doesn’t necessarily mean schools are safe havens. Consider:

– Eighty-six percent of public schools in 2005-06 reported that one or more violent incidents, thefts of items valued at $10 or greater or other crimes had occurred — a rate of 46 crimes per 1,000 enrolled students.

– Almost a third of students ages 12 to 18 reported being bullied inside school.

– Nearly a quarter of teenagers reported the presence of gangs at their schools.”

(For the rest of the article click here)

The statistics reported should be a cause for concern in the public education sector. With the recent death of Carl Hoover being linked to bullying, it is unacceptable that one-third of the student population say they have been bullied.

The end of the article highlights the fact that students are the best resource for resolving issues before they spiral out of control. Students need to feel they can easily report incidents in order to become the first line of defense.

Schooltipline connects students to the school administration in a convenient and anonymous way that empowers and engages students in the safety process. Schooltipline has already helped prevent thefts, drugs, bullying, violence and other acts that could potentially destroy a positive academic environment.

Children Without A Voice USA

Founded in 2007, Children Without A Voice USA is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization that is dedicated to ending the pervasive problem of child abuse in America.

Schooltipline applauds founder Lin Seahorn for her active involvement in child advocacy. Seahorn has served on boards, headed up many fundraisers and drives, and been an active child advocate for over 25 years.

Children Without A Voice USA seeks to help educate the public about the widespread nature of child abuse and to help those suffering understand that there is a way out.

Schooltipline and Children Without A Voice USA are happy to be supporting each other in the fight to provide children a means by which they can break the silence. Children Without A Voice USA has done an outstanding job of education and Schooltipline now provides children with a new way to report abuse both in and out of the home without the fear of retaliation.

Research shows that only 3 out of 10 kids feel comfortable speaking to someone about issues of abuse. Schooltipline provides a way to reach the other 7 children. Schooltipline provides a service called SafeTalk that allows kids to report a problem anonymously via text messaging or the Internet. This allows them to report using the technology they feel most comfortable in a way that is private so that they are not scared of the repercussions.

To learn more about Children Without A Voice USA and Schooltipline click the links below :

Children Without A Voice USA

Schooltipline

Welcoming Schools Program

“Welcoming Schools” Offers Effective Strategies for Addressing Bullying Among Young Students

It is absolutely devastating that two, eleven year old children took their own lives recently in response to persistent bullying at their schools. These tragedies point to an epidemic of bullying and name-calling among young students, as well as a failure of many school leaders to adequately respond to these harmful behaviors. School administrators, classroom teachers, and all other school personnel should be equipped and empowered to take effective, immediate action to address bias-based bullying, including bullying that is based in anti-gay sentiment. Rather than wait until children are approaching adolescence to address these issues, schools should build a foundation of respect and love of diversity in elementary school to prevent children from engaging in harmful behavior as they progress to middle school. Our goal is to prepare our future generations to be part of an increasingly diverse world.

Courtesy of : Ellen Kahn

To learn more about Welcoming Schools click here :

www.welcomingschools.org

Bullying Claims the Life of Virginia Youth

Victim of Bullying 11yr old Carl Walker-Hoover

SchoolTipline sends condolences to the family of Carl Walker Hoover. Carl is yet another student to succumb to the pressure of bullying. Tragically, the incidents leading up to the suicide of 11yr old Carl were reported to the school a number of times. There have been more incidences of bullying coming to light in the Springfield, Mass. area in the wake of the tragedy. (see video and story from Channel 3 news).

It should not take the death of a student for administrators to act. Alexandra Wolff, a 17 yr old high school student from Christiansburg High School in Roanoke, VA, is not waiting for the administration to change her school. Alexandra is taking matters into her own hands by speaking out publicly to community and church groups. She speaks out because she was a victim of bullying. She knows first hand the long lasting damage that bullying can have and she wants to help other students avoid the same torment she once faced. She is calling for more action to be taken in the form of hot lines and student coalitions. (Read more about Alexandra)

Alexandra Wolff at work in Virginia

Everyday, the headlines are filled with these types of stories and everyday thousands of students across the country and around the world suffer the indignity of bullying.  SchoolTipline.com is working to give students a voice. It is the tool that students need to let those who have the power to change things know what is happening in their schools. Communication, however, is only one step in the process of solving a bullying problem. Administrators must take action while protecting the identities of the students being bullied.

SchoolTipline commends Alexandra Wolff for her actions against bullying and hopes to work in partnership with her to raise awareness and provide resources for the individual students who need it most!